Monday, July 14, 2008

Emissions Alert!

Dr. Schori responds to GAFCon's final statement with a bit of her usual Episcopal flatulence. I have copied and decoded it for your convenience. Obviously the Patron Saint of Greenhouse Emissions and Episcopal Preaching has been hard at work again.

Much of the Anglican world must be lamenting the latest emission from GAFCON

especially those of us 'Anglicans' who have abandoned faith in Christ and any recognizable Christianity and really don't like it when people draw attention to that fact, even if we have bought off most of the mainstream media.
Anglicanism has always been broader than some find comfortable.
which is why we feel entitled to make it so broad (and condemn those who don't) that it includes absolutely anything and anyone (and any position and choice of partner) so that no one feels excluded. Well except, of course, those irrelevant and pre-modern folks who actually quote-believe-unquote in stuff. Like Christians. Pfft.
This statement does not represent the end of Anglicanism...
"Yeah, you're just worried it represents the end of a meaningful Anglican Communion and your perqs, PR status, and legal position!" ... "Shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!"
...merely another chapter in a centuries-old struggle for dominance by those who consider themselves the only true believers.
"Yeah, like the struggles of the early Church against the Gnostic heretics and persecuting pagan Romans!" ... "Shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! Damn it, someone find out where that voice is coming from!"
Anglicans will continue to worship God in their churches,
until we can steal those buildings from them to sell off to cover our pension plans and HOB retreat expenses
serve the hungry and needy in their communities
like David Booth Beers, who has only had 5 martinis today and is looking wan and haggard as a result
and build missional relationships with others across the globe
like with Unitarians, Druids, Wiccans, Satanists, priestesses of Isis, and lots of other interesting folks from whom we have so much to learn... and soooo many new and different relationships to explore! Oh, and the American Farm Bureau. And the American Automobile Association. Vroom vroom!
despite the desire of a few leaders to narrow the influence of the gospel.
"Yeah, leaders like Christ and His apostles! You know ... as in 'small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life'?" ... "Shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! What the hell are you quoting there anyway? It's obviously not from anything relevant to our organization or its mission"
We look forward to the opportunities of the Lambeth Conference for constructive conversation, inspired prayer, and relational encounters.
We have the +ABC and the Consultative Council firmly in our pocketbook to ensure that we'll only have 'conversation', no resolutions or effective action. Oh, and I know Vicky Gene definitely has a whole bunch of "relational encounters" lined up, as do many of our other clergy. And I always get first dibs at those parties. Being the boss is so much fun... and the annual $2 million paycheck doesn't hurt either! Who's your momma?

First posted on the MCJ blog.